As you can probably guess, the breakdown of a family unit through parental separation or divorce has consequences that extend far beyond a severed relationship with a partner. An entire familial network shifts, and greater tensions lie between members of the whole group. Unintended results to the breakdown of the family unit like psychological damage and maladjustment, and weaker ties to the family can be long lasting and generational.

To avoid such extreme consequences, it is important that couples think about the ways in which they approach the legal arrangements, communication, and attitudes towards their ex-partner in front of their children. Simply put, preserving a neutral opinion of your ex-partner will avoid feelings of resentment and trauma in the lives of your fellow family members. Divorce or separation can be difficult for children when parents are not on speaking terms and when communication is confrontational. When there is a question of choosing between parents, children have a very difficult time understanding the situation and have a hard time forgiving the situation when formed through emotional conflicts. Engaging in ineffective forms of communication is non-productive and doesn’t benefit anyone in the long run. It is important to maintain a civil relationship with your ex-partner in order to create an environment of peace for those around you, and it is especially important that the child is not told negative comments about their parent.

Children are generally better able to adapt when the stressors of the family breakdown are not compounded by added complexities like moving away, having socioeconomic hardships, or having other challenges that may come up as a result of the separation. In fact, when parents remain on good terms with each other and conflict from the relationship is removed, children often live more fulfilled and happier lives than when their parents were together.

Providing the best experiences for your children to prosper can be difficult when you are struggling to get your own life back on track. Having open conversations with kids about what is going on and providing them with a loving home and opportunistic childhood will ensure that they have positive memories of even the hardest of times and will eliminate traumatic experiences and the development of damaging character traits.

References

BH-0023 RevA