Loneliness affects us all from time to time, and everyone’s experience of loneliness will be different. Feeling lonely doesn’t always mean you are physically alone – some of us choose to be alone and are happy without much contact with other people, while others may feel lonely in a crowd full of people. So, what makes us feel lonely and how can we help reduce it?

Studies have shown that certain personality traits are associated with more intense feelings of loneliness. These include low self-confidence, sensitivity, depression, and social anxiety, and generalized anxiousness. Fortunately, there are ways to cope.

Personal development skills. Learning certain skills and strategies can help you change the way you think about situations when feeling lonely. Improving self-confidence and learning coping skills for when you’re feeling lonely can help improve your mood and improve resilience. When you feel the strength to handle a situation on your own, the unresponsiveness or lack of assistance from of others is less obvious and disappointing, because social support will no longer be the main contributor to your success.

Beat the boredom. Sometimes people feel lonely because they are bored. Find activities to entertain yourself – hobbies, learning, self-development, and any independent activity that will keep you motivated and busy. When having a positive relationship with yourself and wanting to spend quality time alone because you have exciting tasks to look forward to in your free time, your feelings of loneliness will diminish and a newfound love for alone time will grow!

Make new connections. If you feel lonely because of a lack of satisfying social contact, improving the quality of your relationships can really help. Reach out to the people in your life and let them know how you feel. If you feel disconnected from your support system, it might mean that you are surrounded by a group of people whose interests are very different from yours, and it may be smart to look around for an alternative group that better fits your needs.

Why not try something new. Sometimes we get stuck in a rut and need a new external stimulus to revitalize our outlook and prevent loneliness.

  • Join a class or group based on your hobbies or interests.
  • Volunteer with a local charity.
  • Adopt a pet.

Practice self-care. Exercise, sunshine, a healthy diet, and good sleep are all great for fighting loneliness. Exercise and sunshine both trigger happy hormones that elevate mood. A healthy diet and quality sleep have a positive impact on physical and emotional health.

The take away is that loneliness can affect all of us and there are many things you can do when trying to overcome it. The key is realizing how you feel and finding the best strategy for you.

References

  • Kong, F., & You, X. (2013). Loneliness and Self-Esteem as Mediators Between Social Support and Life Satisfaction in Late Adolescence. Social Indicators Research, 110(1), 271–279. http://www.jstor.org/stable/ 24718704
  • Vlaming, R. H., Haveman-Nies, A., Groeniger, I. B.-O., van Huysduynen, E. J. C. H., de Groot, L.  C. P. G. M., & van’t Veer, P. (2014). Loneliness Literacy Scale: Development and Evaluation of an Early Indicator for Loneliness Prevention. Social Indicators Research, 116(3), 989–1001. http://www.jstor.org/stable/ 24720941

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