How to progress past stigmas around mental health treatment for men

It’s important to seek help if you have a mental health concern. But men may be less likely to do so than women. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 57% of women with mental health conditions received treatment in 2022, while only 42% of men with mental health conditions did.

These stats ask a question that begs answering: Has society truly broken the stigma around seeking mental health treatment?

Men and Mental Health: A Prevailing Stigma

The stigma against mental health treatment spans sex and gender identity; however, research suggests that men in particular may be more vulnerable to gender ideals like strength and self-reliance. Because of cultural pressures, men may fall into a toxic form of masculinity where being manly means suppressing emotional sensitivity, rejecting femininity, and displaying aggression. That, in turn, may make men less likely to reach out for support, because it would be seen as a sign of weakness.

“Toxic masculinity tells men they cannot experience any emotions because this is ‘not manly’ and that ‘emotions are for women,’ which is, of course, false,” explains Jordan Bierbrauer, L.C.S.W., a therapist based in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

According to qualitative research, pressuring men to adhere to “rigid masculine norms” may cause worsening symptoms of anxiety and depression, relationship problems, and more.

How Men Can Overcome Mental Health Stigma

Despite the impact of gender norms and a prevailing mental health stigma, men can better support themselves and others with a few tips in mind.

Normalize and Embrace Emotions

Educating yourself about feelings and bodily sensations can be helpful in recognizing the normality of your experiences, explains Jeremy Henderson-Teelucksingh, a certified clinical mental health counselor based in Nashville, Tennessee. “An excellent first step is building an emotional vocabulary,” he says.

Henderson-Teelucksingh suggests using an emotion wheel, created by groundbreaking psychologist Robert Plutchik, Ph.D., to learn about the range of emotions and how to label different feelings. Then, he adds, you can begin to understand how your emotions influence your thoughts and, ultimately, behavior.

“Too many men shrug off sensations in their bodies,” Henderson-Teelucksingh says. “Men are told to ‘walk it off, tough it out, and don’t cry.’ ” Instead, challenge yourself to embrace those sensations. For example, if you notice your stomach cramping from anxiety, practice self-care in place of self-judgment. That might look like calling a friend or practicing deep breathing.

Spend Time with People of Other Genders

John Cottone, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist based in Stony Brook, New York, recommends diversifying who you surround yourself with. “Spend time in gender-mixed groups, with different norms about success, failure, toughness, and resilience,” he says. This may open your eyes to new, more inclusive perspectives.

Redefine Masculinity on Your Own Terms

Challenging your beliefs on what it means to be masculine—and what is and isn’t okay to feel—may help you identify ways in which you’ve internalized norms and pressures.

It’s important to think about what masculinity means to you and to fully explore the emotions that color your world—even if they aren’t seen as traditionally “masculine.” A therapist may be able to help you do this. “Mental health treatment is something we can participate in across our life span, just like we do with primary care providers,” Henderson-Teelucksingh adds.

How We Can All Work to End the Stigma

There are steps everyone can take to grow awareness of unconscious biases and become more accepting.

Examine Your Language and Behaviors

Self-reflection may increase awareness of mental health biases and blind spots. Take a step back and examine how you move through the world. Do you make assumptions about others based on how they speak, what they’ve been through, or their background? Were you taught to believe in traditional gender norms and feel uncomfortable if, for example, a man expresses vulnerability through crying?

Although addressing these learned behaviors can be tough and scary, Henderson-Teelucksingh says, we have to bring awareness to the harms they produce, and course-correct accordingly. “Think of it like a gear: When one gear turns, they all turn together,” he explains.

Call Out Bias—with Compassion

“If we see someone feeding into the mental health stigma, we can help by questioning their viewpoints,” Bierbrauer says. “There’s no need to be confrontational with this conversation; rather, asking questions can help stimulate a more progressive conversation.”

In other words, it’s about “calling in” rather than “calling out.” Lead with curiosity and “I feel” statements to make the most out of these conversations.

Share Your Experiences

Share what you found helpful when you were going through a hard time, or what you wish you would have tried.

“If you’ve had such struggles and were aided by therapy, acknowledging this is very helpful to someone struggling silently,” Cottone says. “This subtly expresses to this person that you won’t judge them should they ultimately decide to get treatment, and this may quell any anxiety they may silently be holding about getting treatment.”